Intimacy

Calmness stroking your soul.

Tenderness.

No tension.

Hope.

Advertisements

Winter Wonderland!

In the morning I was concerned that this day was going to be as colourless and empty as the previous ones had been so I decided to do something about it!

Soon came the idea: which place could be more colourful and fun in London at this time of the year than the Winter Wonderland in the Hyde Park??

When I arrived it seemed like a joke: Winter? Where? Okay it’s not like I hadn’t known that it hadn’t been snowing in London yet. Still I was disappointed to see the leaves on the trees. It was “cold” (7 degrees) but didn’t feel wintry. So having no choice I was going to enjoy the wonderland part..

Such a luck, I didn’t even have to worry about the crowd..

The atmosphere was festive with lots of lights (even in daylight) and Christmas songs everywhere and those people who did show up they looked so happy and peaceful that I, myself, was forced to feel good!(grrrr)

There were a few people ice skating. I personally have issues with this activity. I love watching ice skating (especially figure skating) but it is impossible to make me go on the ice. Now I was watching people some of them were really bad (as bad as I would be) falling many times or not letting go of the barrier and for some reason they did enjoy it!

Oh, and how many nice things I found in the market! My favourites were -of course- the Hungarian sellers (yes I know, who cares..) with delicious food and beautiful leather notebooks and diaries.. (which I have no picture of because I started to talk to the seller and then I forgot to photograph..)

WINTER WONDERLAND MUST HAVE-S:

MULLED WINE (!!!) – £4

Sausages (can be German as well) – £4.5-5

Hot chocolate – £2,5

Kürtőskalács (What the hell is that??) Absolute favorite

 For recipe: http://maiasfotos.blogspot.com/2009/11/kurtos-kalacs-barbecued-chimney-cake.html

My overall impression (and it is my highly official and serious opinion and not the humble one): this place really is a miracle! I didn’t expect much of an improvement in my mood but it did the job. Winter Wonderland makes you feel good and even makes you look forward to the festive season.

Movie day

Yesterday I watched three films. It wasn’t planned, happened by accident and due to me not being able to do any (more) activities (than looking out of my head).

The first was A dangerous method with Keira Knightley, the second Valentine’s day played by all those stars and as third came Chloe with Amanda Seyfried. I liked the last one best. Although Valentine’s day was “my guilty pleasure” as the X-factor judges used to say. A dangerous method is not bad either but Keira Knightley’s character was just.. well.. irritating with that screaming (and facial expressions) at the beginning so I quickly lost my interest.

I wanted to say something about Chloe. And Amanda Seyfried. She was just brilliant in this role. Looking innocent is not a big challenge for her with those big green eyes and angel-like face but her job wasn’t performing the good girl here. I loved the fact that nothing is clear about Chloe and her “business” relationship with Catherine (Julianne Moore), there’s always a doubt: is she lying -and if yes- why?

In my humble opinion this drama mirrors very well that nothing is black or white. Most of the things are in that huge grey area. So it’s better to watch out..

First Artist Date

I wanted it to be a proper date-like date. I dressed as I would have been dressed on a real date. It is a real date! – Yes, well then on a date with another person. I put some light make up on and I decided that I looked good. Amazing indeed. Free, feminine, intellectual. Miss May as “Eagle” said.

I know having a date in Starbucks might smell a bit cheap although “three pounds for a coffee??” I felt like having a toffee nut latte with cream on the top. Latter was a bit stupid from me because by the time I found a seat it just disappeared.. Doesn’t matter with my new membership card it was free anyway.

So the place is pretty crowded. Mostly tourists I guess. I’m sitting at the corner of the ground or rather underground floor. The dark brown walls give a warm welcoming feeling. It is like November in here. November – my lover. So my Artist decided we are in the right place.

I can hardly hear the loud chatter of these Asians behind me. Florence and the Machine is banging in my ears. No, wait, now that I’m listening I can here their weird language. I increase the volume..

The toffee nut latte is pretty nice. It is sweet enough so I don’t need to put sugar in it and not too hot so I can drink it straight away. My Artist says now I can do whatever I like. If I wanted to I could jump up on the table and sing and dance together with Florence. If I wanted to I could go to those guys and ask if they are on a date too. But I don’t think they are anyway. They don’t seem to be gay at all.

If I wanted to I could ask that girl at the next table if she wasn’t cold. Okay today it is quite warm.. fifteen degrees, but mini skirt without tights.. well.. brave choice.

I was hoping that I will have internet in here. In case we cannot continue our clever conversation. But there is none so I really have to push myself to impress my Artist. I don’t want her to get bored. If I can see that she is bored then I feel bad. Discouraged. I don’t like to feel discouraged. Luckily she wants to impress me as well. It is much easier this way. She is quite entertaining. She says that I need to believe in myself – in her if you like – to not to lose each other. If we stay together we can be strong. Very strong. Now, I’m in a good mood. I’m happy so I’m willing to believe her.

Next week we are going to repeat out little meeting. Still don’t know where or what we are going to do but it will be fun for sure. My coffee is at its end. I want more but my Artist asks me not to have more. I need to look out for my body. Our body.

I feel like dancing. Florence makes me want to dance. I’m not jumping on the table but moving my head and my whole upper body actually.

We’re talking about winter. That it is different from home. Even though there was quite a bit of snow in the past two years. And finally Britain discovered the need for winter tires.. Is it strange that this is amongst the first things that come to mind if I think about English winter? My Artists says yes, it is a bit strange, but I shouldn’t worry about it. I’m not worried – I’m telling her. Last winter and the one before I spent in the country side. Now I’m in the big city I don’t know how it will feel. There are no endless fields with rabbits and dears and wild hunting spaniels being crazy about chasing them.. chasing everybody or everything that moves. I used to have a laugh when the snow was bigger then them and the warmth of their body melted some of the icy bits just to make them glued to their long hair as snowballs. They were furious about it so when we got back from walking I helped them to get rid of the balls. They should have just thrown them at each other as every normal person does. All right I know I am being ridiculous. But I liked to think about them as persons and not animals. My Artist smiles at this thought. She likes the idea too but I have to admit that I didn’t like them in my bedroom. Oh I was furious when Lucas got in and then I had to chase him around the six bedroom house visiting every room -of course- before I could take him down to the kitchen. Oh God, he was naughty. She says she likes to remember the good old things we used to do. She remembers too even though I didn’t know she was there. But she was watching and sending me signs. I just wasn’t able to understand yet. It was Halloween last year when she was at her strength or maybe I was more sensible than usual, when she sent me that mémoire about my grandmother. I missed her very much although she’d passed away for many years by then. I felt I had to do something for her. So I wrote that mémoire. A year later I sent it to a flash story competition. I still don’t know the result but am pretty sure the lucky winner won’t be me but winning doesn’t matter anyway. It was for her. Making her story spread to find as many people as possible.

It’s getting dark says my Artist. We can’t see it since there are no windows down here but I know she’s right. We should get going. But I’m telling her that I cannot wait for our next rendezvous. She says she feels the same way. But anyway she’ll be there I just need to listen. I will.

’cause I’m evil

It’s not very late but the stars have already taken control over the sky. You are walking home feeling worn out and looking at shiny, welcoming shop windows, some of them are still open. Cold breeze makes you shiver so you fold your arms hoping to keep some warmth inside. You stop at the crossing and while waiting for the traffic lights to let you go, you just peek in the American coffee shop. You can see people typing on their laptop or chatting to each other and you remember that you used to be one of them. But now you have to go home and sort things out with your partner in one way or another.

Panic

It is not only me here any more. Curious eyes are scanning my words waiting for more to come or maybe for something more… interesting.

“This is -here and now- THE opportunity to showcase your talent!”

Silence.

I’m feeling numb. My head is as empty as my stomach (yes, I’m hungry).

So what’s now?

The best is if I give the stage to The Tallest Man On Earth. He will do it for me. Only once. Only today.

 

Tomorrow I won’t be nervous. I promise.

I ♥ November

November has been always special for me. I’m not sure if it’s because it is the exact opposite to my birth month, May, but I can see a chemistry between the two of them. May is known as a feminine month with flowers, colours and all those sweet scents. It is soft, graceful and full of beauty.

November is in my opinion the negative pole of the same magnet. It is masculine, strong and definite. There’s less cheerfulness and more solemnity, thoughtfulness and even some wisdom.

I’m wondering how I’d feel if I lived on the Southern Hemisphere..

But let’s see some facts!

There’s a lot of things going on in November: starting with All Saints’ Day, a few Independence days (e.g. in Poland, Latvia, Suriname or Albania), or International Men’s Day. Or this is the month of Pancreatic Cancer Awareness, , Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness, Lung Cancer Awareness and National Homeless Youth Awareness among others.

I mention a few more delightful ones because it shouldn’t be all dark and creepy:  November is National Novel Writing Month (which I heard of first a few days ago but with that I wish good luck to all the participants from Writer’s Bureau) or the International Drum Month – I will check if there’s any events on this in London.

I also found songs for November. Okay, they might be dark but in an attractive way..

Guns N’ Roses: November Rain – classic

Silverstein: November – I quite like it until the shouting..

The National: Mr November – I think it’s catchy..

Tom Waits: November – well, I don’t know how to describe this one.. maybe it is creepy..