Stories Dreams etc

I’ve seen so many amazing stories. Life stories where people gathered all their power to focus on their dream and eventually achieved it. I want to be a success story so I have to find my ultimate dream. 

Or is it all right to have more? Sometimes I feel torn because so many different things interest me (coffee, photography, travelling, writing, interior design, languages, cooking and baking etc) that I can’t deepen in either of them. 

I just hope all of this will lead somewhere.




It was 2011 when I first posted here. And it’s so interesting to look back! I’m glad I started this blog even though I disappeared a long time ago. I’m feeling nostalgic by reading back and remembering all the little things. I’m glad I have them here.

So much has been happening ever since. I’m not going to go into details now but I’m seriously considering to come back either to continue with this site or starting a new one. I just feel like writing. Silly things. Or serious ones. About my new dreams, interests, hobbies. About my “course craziness”.

We’ll see what happens.

Where comes the SUN?

Lovely little sunshine greeted me this morning. I thought it might have been a sign of Spring after all. A sign of hope, the light at the end of the tunnel we’ve been in for months now. But when I stepped outside the cold wind just cut into my bones. The temperatures are not even below zero but the fact that it should be at least ten degrees warmer just makes it feel even worse. It is freezing.

Is it really so bad that I depend on the weather? That I believe if Spring comes everything is going to be fine. If this greyness goes away, I will smile more. I will be happier.

It’s not like I have a reason to be unhappy, like I didn’t get what I wanted. I did. Most of it. But I would love to enjoy a cup of coffee/tea/glass of wine on our terrace, or just go and have a walk with my partner in the neighbouring wood (and taking photos), or go and play tennis.

I’m picturing myself sitting outside in the lovely afternoon sun with a notepad in my lap writing a hymn to that big yellow mystery that has been hidden for too long.



Maybe if everyone tries and imagines what one wants to do in the sun, it will be like a prayer and it might be even heard. Anyone’s up to help me change the weather?


Here and there – Photos

I thought I’d put up some random photos I’ve done in the past few weeks, months. (It’s unbelievable with what speed time rushes by. It just runs without asking how I feel about it…)

Anyway, here they are:

DSC_0420I took these two today celebrating the long missed good weather. I have no mood to photograph when it’s cold, cloudy and grey… what can I do? I tried to make the water flow as much as I could but not having tripod with me I didn’t dare to set it on longer shutter speed because of my shaky hands.



The next photo I took a few weeks ago when the sun just before sunset (unexpectedly) shone into my room. It had an interesting feel to it that I wanted to capture.



Then I went outside to see where the light was coming from…



The next one is actually my favourite so far. I was practising night photography with my friend whom I made to sit on the bench.


Hitting a sick child?

What would you do if you heard that a mother hit and yelled at her feverish three years old son for not wanting to take his medicine?

abusepicIs it supposed to be considered as normal behaviour for an average British family?

Okay, child abuse is not something I normally write about in this blog. It is a far too heavy subject for me to digest. It is not my call. I promise I will continue to keep away from it unless I decide to write a novel about it which is definitely not something I would enjoy doing as I find it horrible almost unbearable even though I don’t personally know the family, I only met the child a few times.

I feel impotent. I have absolutely no business with them, I cannot step forward to save the child from his mother’s insanity. Even if I wanted to I wouldn’t know what to do and anyway one thing I learned last year: don’t put your nose into other people’s sh*t because you will have to carry around the smell for months. I’m still carrying.


Image copied from here:

I went skiing.

I went skiing. It is hard to describe how incredible it sounds. I keep repeating it in my mind (I went skiing. I went skiing! I went skiing!!!) trying to get used to the thought.

Winter sports generally are not for me. Once I tried, or rather tried to try ice skating, but was too scared to step away from the fence. I said the ice was too slippery and I was dead serious about it.

I had difficulties to put on my ski boots. I didn’t manage it by myself and I didn’t like that they were so extremely uncomfortable. When I tried to walk in them I felt like I was Arnold Schwarzenegger from The Terminator. But it was only the beginning. I was told to put on the skis and try to move in them, not down the hill yet, but it was already a big challenge. The snow was just as well slippery as the ice (okay, almost). This torture went on and on until two days later I could get down the hill (without ever falling), taking turns and stopping when I wished. I could do it but I still didn’t like it. It was still like a scary movie.

After the third day I said no. I wouldn’t do it any longer. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to die so young. Of course everyone was picking on me, why I stopped when it went so well.

After a day I started to doubt that I made the right decision, but then I agreed  with myself that it was not worth doing if I was scared, if I was not enjoying it.

After the second day I was told that I had a “cool snowboard face” why I didn’t want to try snowboarding?

Third day in the morning I was told that everyone from our apartment was going to try snowboarding and I was strongly recommended to join them so I did. I couldn’t leave the place without giving this winter sport thing another shot.

We didn’t really get far in one day but I already felt safer on the board than on the skis (probably it was a false sense of safety), I could stand up by myself and slide down without falling or I fell only if I wanted to avoid bumping into someone, because I still didn’t know how to turn properly or how to stop, or anything actually, just balancing down. But it felt good that I still had some hope that next year when my boyfriend would want to make me go skiing again I wouldn’t be so against it.

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