I know I’m still pretty amateur at everything I do (writing, drawing etc.) and I know that it’s fine for now, still I feel like I’m stuck. It is not a coincidence that I didn’t really show up here or anywhere else. Okay, I was on my holiday for a week and of course I had a lot of things to do, a lot of people to meet so -I think it’s a good excuse- I didn’t write or draw anything. I took some pics though. (Our garden at home is magical!)
I’m trying to get back to my creativity and enthusiasm but the thing is I don’t know where to start. I want everything at the same time which means I’m not doing anything. So I’m making a schedule. Today at 3 PM I’m going to write something. (Not my novel though because I ended up not liking the story that I’d planned…not a big surprise I guess.) At about 5 PM I’ll switch to drawing. Or at least let’s hope that I’ll do so. Also I’m going to add a creative activity to every day in my calender and train my willpower to keep it.
In the meantime I should try and meet some friends whom I haven’t seen for ages but that takes time. I really don’t feel like spending every evening alone though, especially now that I’m back from home and I feel a bit lonely. Which I know will pass soon as it always does. So let’s rearrange my life!
As an aspiring writer I sometimes find it hard to sit down and write every day at about the same time.When I do I start writing silly things what happened, didn’t happen, will happen or would like to happen. Like a diary. No fiction, no imagination. Okay, the “would like to happen” part can be quite creative..
I put on some music hoping that would help. It doesn’t. After a while I realize that I’m on YouTube again browsing through videos some of them lead me to films. The next moment I’m on IMDb checking the ratings I don’t always agree on but still find it a good guideline. “Who is that actress? She’s so familiar..” and I check the next film and the next actor and an hour passed writing nothing.
I’m getting pissed off by myself. I used to be able to create stories out of nowhere! What happened?
Nothing happened. I started to take it seriously.
I calm myself down. That’s all right. I’m more stubborn than my block.
“She didn’t dare to go anywhere near him. She was afraid. Her whole body was shaking and his smile didn’t comfort her. She was trying to get her car keys out of her handbag and just drive home but they weren’t in there. There was no reason to panic, she told herself, she must have left it in the office. But her body betrayed her mind ever since she arrived at the car park. The man was coming closer step by step and something was jingling in his hands…”
I will get there..